One of my biggest pet peeves in Romance are the jerks. The alpha males who treat women like dirt, and female readers eat it up. We’ve all (probably) seen the complaints about a specific BDSM book, but it’s not the only one. Stalking, harassment, verbal abuse… all of this is treated as male dominance, and portrayed as “proof” that a man is interested. Thanks, I’ll pass.
Where are the compliments, the sweet gestures, the steamy teasing that is really, truly, and honestly HOT? Sure, it’s a lot harder to make that broke college guy into a sex pot, but are we really trying to convince the world that being a douche canoe with bucks is better than being broke with a kind heart? Trust me, I’d be much more likely to jump into bed with a guy that makes me coffee every morning than one that told me what to wear. And if that sweet man remembers that my dog likes this brand of treats over that? Oh yeah! Makes my heart pitter patter.
My mother’s generation read books where hunky barbarians raped women – who then fell in love with them. Yeah, not sexy. When I was a young thing, the men were workaholics who ignored their women, until they needed some sexual fulfillment. Nope, don’t think so. And so, I’m doing my best to write REAL men.
Sexy isn’t just about looks. I’ve seen some pretty nice looking guys who are a complete turn off when they open their mouths, because it’s nothing but misogynistic comments that fall out. Hey, bud, I don’t wanna be your little rubber fuck doll, kthxbai.
What gets me swooning are the men who can be the nice guy. Those guys who get sweaty palms and try to play it off. The men who may be powerful and worldly, but are reduced to blushing and dorky smiles by the attention of THEIR dream girl. The men who want to protect their woman, but know that she doesn’t necessarily NEED them, and find a way to do it without treating her like a pet. I want to read about the man who cries at chick flicks, or the one that sends flirty texts – not kinky ones. I want to see these guys treated as sexy, not as the wanna be dorkus who won’t ever be getting a piece.
Nice guys finish last because we women put them there. We reward the assholes (and idolize them IRL) then wonder why men treat us like shit. Uh, DUH! Sure, nice guys are easier to make into a pushover, but that doesn’t mean they are. Nice guys are nice. They fall in love, romance their dream girl, and treat her like a treasure, not something they deserve. We need more men like this. If I read another book about some dick that abuses his girlfriend until she falls madly, I’m gonna scream.