Why she forgives his wrongs

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How many romances are written about falling for the man with money, fame, an impressive job, or some other trait that basically gives him social power?  How many of you noticed that the image above is Salryc Luxx?  And last, but not least, who thinks those two questions might go together?

One of the biggest complaints I’ve seen about BloodLust is that Sal forgives one man too easily.  It always makes me smile – because that’s what the reader is SUPPOSED to hate about it.  It was very intentional.

I wrote a character who is relatively mature for her situation, intelligent, plans things out, and (since the world is presented from her point of view) believes that she’s correct in her way of thinking.  Then I let her make a very bad decision… to stay with a man who hasn’t necessarily treated her as well as he could have.

Why?

Because every woman I’ve ever known has done this, and most of the men.  Doesn’t matter if it’s a lover or a friend, we’ve all forgiven a person for a reason besides how they act toward us.  Maybe it’s because we’ve already been dating him so long.  Maybe it’s because of the kids.  Often, it’s just because we don’t want to face the reality that we made a mistake in the first place.

And it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is bad.  He’s not.  He’s a good man, just not a good man for her all the time.  Sometimes, two personalities just aren’t meant to fit together like that.  All too often, we convince ourselves that we owe another person something because [insert reason here].  He does it, she does it, and then they are miserable.  But here’s the thing.

We don’t owe anyone anything.

No one should feel like they “should” get back together with someone, forgive them, ignore their tantrums, or anything else because of past history.  And yet, I know so many people who make this excuse every day because leaving is so much more terrifying than staying.  I wrote something in BloodLust that pissed people off – and it SHOULD!  It should make everyone mad that we’re trained to be polite instead of protect ourselves.  And even worse, it should make us so mad that we all understand, because we’ve all done the exact same thing.

We lie to ourselves.  We say we’re fine when we’re not.  We say we’re in love when we’re falling out.  We say we don’t need help when we really do.  What we don’t realize is that the people around us can see it.  We can feel it by that twisting in our bellies, and still we push on, insisting that “everything’s fine.”

It’s not.  And it shouldn’t be.  I’m glad people are pissed about it, because if they weren’t, it’d mean something even worse.

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